DPchallenge: Starting Over

Over at the Daily Post, this week’s Writing Challenge has the theme of Starting Over, which got me thinking about all the do-overs I would like to have if life had a practice run.

What follows is a very incomplete list of experiences I would like to go back and start over.

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Red sofas are cruel and inhumane.

If I had to do it over again, I would not agree with the volunteer at the animal shelter that declawing cats is cruel and inhumane.

If I had to do it over again, I would not buy a red sofa, which looks even worse now that the cat has scratched it to shreds.

If I had to do it over again, I would not eat the bowl of clam chowder left out overnight on the kitchen counter.

If I had to do it over again, I would not smile politely at the creepy guy behind me at the Dunkin Donuts when he asked if I had a boyfriend.

” . . .and I’ll never, ever, ever love anyone else ever again, Danny!”

If I had to do it over again, I would knee him in the groin when he followed me out to my car.

If I had to do it over again, I would listen to my mother when she told me not to date Danny Okulski, who was a senior when I was a freshman.

If I had to do it over again, I would not send that sappy Hallmark card to Danny Okulski after he dumped me.

And finally, if I had to do it over again, I would not run into the cheapie hair salon for a “trim,” a word that the butcher stylist interpreted to mean “keep on cutting until I jump out of the chair and scream at you to stop” because after that hair cut, I was just a flannel shirt away from dating Jodie Foster.

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