Turns Out, Ellen Degeneres Is Not the Only Lesbian in the World

Suddenly, lesbians are everywhere.  While before they used to be strictly limited to afternoon talk shows, now they are over in France winning film prizes, and down in Florida playing high school basketball, and watching porn.

I’ll get to Blue is the Warmest Color, winner of this year’s Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival, in a moment.  First, let’s consider the criminal case involving high school senior Kaitlyn Hunt who became sexually involved with a freshman freshwoman freshlesbian jailbait girl who was underage.  From the article in the Miami Herald, Lesbian, 18, Faces 15 Years in Prison For Having Sex with 14-year-old High School Basketball Teammate.

First Jason Collins, now Kaitlyn Hunt.

Basketball makes you gay.

Kaitlyn Hunt of Indian River County is charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 to 16 years old. If convicted, she would be sentenced from probation to 15 years in prison and registered as a sex offender.

Hunt turned 18 on Aug. 14, 2012. She and a 14-year-old classmate, known as C.S., began dating in November. They first had consensual sex just before Christmas in a bathroom at Sebastian River High School. The relationship continued through February, according to an arrest affidavit.

I absolutely love the headline of that article for its length (someone over at the Miami Herald must be getting paid by the word), and also for its use of three integers (18+15+14=47.  That’s got to mean something, right?) but mostly for identifying Kaitlyn as, simply, lesbian.  Not “Girl.”  Not “High School Student.”  Not “Teenager.”  Given that she’s 18 now and eligible to vote, they could have identified her as “Voter.” And I think the picture they included in the article is a selfie taken in the driver’s seat of a car, so she probably has her license, and they could have identified her as “Driver.”  Instead, they chose “Lesbian” which is fine, and I hope that in the future the Miami Herald identifies all the subjects of their news stories by their sexual orientation, like for this story about a Dad who got to share his interesting parenting methods with local law enforcement, which I think should be retitled Heterosexual Shoves Infant in Freezer to Stop Crying.

I’m not sure how things are going to turn out for Kaitlyn.  I’ve long believed that it’s never a good idea for a senior to date a freshman, an opinion I’ve held ever since I was fourteen and dated seventeen year old Danny Okulski, which you can read about in this post, DPchallenge: Starting Over.  But I didn’t have sex with Danny in our high school bathroom, like Kaitlyn and her underage girlfriend did.  In fact, I didn’t even let him put his tongue in my mouth or touch my boobs, which is probably why he dumped me, now that I think of it.

For a look at young lesbian love where no one winds up being arrested, get a ticket to see Blue is the Warmest Color. I’ll probably drag my husband down to our local art theater to see it when it comes out, as I am a fan of foreign films, but he’ll probably fall asleep during the movie, as he is not.  That won’t save him, however, as I intend to bore him further with my own lengthy, detailed and excruciating analysis of the film afterward over a tall Caramel Machiatto.

Speaking of lesbian porn, in addition to the attention the film has received for winning the prestigious award, it’s also getting a lot of buzz for the explicit sex scenes between the two stars, Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux.

Perhaps those scenes will hold my husband’s attention.

If you’re interested in venturing into the world of French foreign films, I’ll suggest you check out one of my favorites, Les Diaboliques No lesbian sex in that one, though it does involve an interesting relationship between two women, and it’s an absolute classic of the thriller/horror genre.

Royalty free stock photos including the image in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.

12 thoughts on “Turns Out, Ellen Degeneres Is Not the Only Lesbian in the World

  1. Karen says:

    The theme for May’s NaBloPoMo is comfort and I continue my long string of uncomfortable posts by suggesting you watch old B&W movies with subtitles. And also lesbian sex. Depending on your orientation, that might make you uncomfortable or it might get you excited. That last sentence applies to both the lesbian sex and the old B&W movies.

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    • Karen says:

      That’s interesting. Other people move there for the weather, or the early bird specials, but I guess your’s is as good a reason as any, at least in the minds of most red blooded American males.

      😉

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  2. Clever Girl says:

    Where was the media when I was seventeen and getting screwed by my semi-gay, bulimic, coke-snorting, twenty two year old boyfriend? Those headlines would have read:
    “Seventeen year old “Lolita” seduces confused, ill, older man on medication.”

    What would yours read Karen?

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    • Karen says:

      Oh, wow–did you actually seduce him? I guess you’d have to, on account of the “semi-gay” part, huh?

      While writing this post, I actually spent a bit of time thinking about what sort of identifier would be used in a headline about me, but none of that stuff made it into the final draft. I use the descriptor “Semi-Professional Lay About” in my Gravatar profile, so maybe that would be mine. I’d kinda cringe if the local news identified me as “Local Mom” (though I am a mother), though “Local Woman” is just as bad, I guess. “Local Heterosexual” would be okay by me.

      Since you asked, I guess my sordid sexual headline from high school would be “Gawky, Neurotic Blonde Loses Virginity to Nerd After Prom , Asks, ‘Is that it?'”

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      • Clever Girl says:

        Hahaha! Gosh, I wouldn’t want to be that guy! Danny Okulski?

        In answer to your question, no I wasn’t the seducer, I was being sardonic because of the media’s portrayal of women, in general.

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        • Karen says:

          No, not Danny Okulski (who dumped me). The nerd in my headline was my “serious” high school boyfriend, Keith, who has wandered through the pages of this blog more than a few times.

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  3. Madame Weebles says:

    Les Diaboliques was a good movie. Even the remake with Sharon Stone and Isabelle Adjani wasn’t awful. Watching those women watching the lesbian porn is HILARIOUS, I love the commentary. I do find it fascinating how many straight guys love girl-on-girl action. It’s bizarre to me.

    As for Kaitlyn, that poor girl. She obviously didn’t use good judgment but she shouldn’t be given jail time because of it.

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    • Karen says:

      I did not even know there was a remake of the film until I started writing this post and it came up when I Googled, which just shows you how out of the loop I am! It’s a great story, so I’m not surprised that a remake would be pretty good, too.

      I’m not sure if there’s much mystery as to why straight men find images of two women (with two vaginas and four breasts, writhing around naked and touching each other) exciting. 😉

      I don’t think Kaitlyn is at much risk for jail time, though it is not unheard of in cases of statutory rape, most infamously in the Genarlow Wilson case. I think the bigger concern for her is a conviction as a sex offender, and the restrictions that would impose on her for the rest of her life, even without requiring her to serve a prison sentence.

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      • Madame Weebles says:

        Well true, there’s the obvious reasons that men like images of two naked chicks. But I suppose it will always baffle me a bit because as a straight chick, I don’t get off on images of two guys getting it on. They don’t repel me, but they don’t do it for me either. I suppose the bigger issue is that there really isn’t much porn that’s made for women, gay or straight.

        Whatever happens to Kaitlyn, it really is a shame. I’d hate to think of her having to live with the label “sex offender” with all the associated difficulties.

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