I Like You, But I Don’t Like-Like You

I like you. Do you like me? Please check Yes or No.

I like you. Do you like me? Please check Yes or No.

The other day, I was talking BS commenting on another blog when I got the little message that the blogger had “Liked” my comment. I’m sure other bloggers have long been aware of this feature on WordPress, but as no one has seen fit to Like my comments before I only recently became aware of the ability.

And now I’m wondering if I should go around and Like comments.

Part of me is thinking, “Oh God, another opportunity for a stranger to pass judgment on me over the internet!” and the other part of me is thinking, “Oh God, another opportunity for me to pass judgment on a stranger over the internet!” and still a third part of me is thinking, “Who gives a fuck?”

It’s enough to drive you crazy.

Long time readers of this blog will remember that I’ve struggled with this issue before, and even wrote about it in Why I Stopped Liking Your Blog Posts. For awhile there, I was waging a one-woman crusade against Liking.

I know, I know. Other people are out there working for economic and social justice, and here I am raging against an internet content voting system . . .

Given my history, you may have been surprised to notice (or maybe not. Maybe I’m the only one who pays attention to this stuff) that I’ve pretty much waved the white flag in my war against Liking, and my little gravatar has been showing up with regularity underneath your blog posts. I admit it; I couldn’t beat ’em, so I joined ’em.

See all those lines in the sand? Pick one.

See all those lines in the sand? Pick one.

But I draw the line at Liking comments.

And it’s not because I don’t like (small L) your comments here on Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please. I absolutely do. And it’s not because I don’t like (small L) leaving my long-winded comments on your blog (your blog provides me with the distraction from the real work I should be doing each day. Crafting a comment for your blog sometimes gets me all the way through to lunch).

The reason I’m not going to Like (capital L) your comments is that I’m going to issue a blanket statement here on this blog that I love all your comments, always. I love when you comment here, and I love when you comment over there, and I even love that comment you mistakenly left on Mormon Parenting Today that you meant to leave on Miss Cindy’s Erotic Stories.

So that’s where Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please stands on this whole comment-Liking issue right now. Still, I’m sure you won’t be  surprised if you see me Liking your comments a few months from now; when it comes to Nutter Butter cookies, sex, and blogging etiquette, I’m notoriously weak-willed.

Royalty-free stock photos, including the images in this post, can be found at freeimages.com.

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39 thoughts on “I Like You, But I Don’t Like-Like You

  1. lynseywhite says:

    Hehe, got a strange satisfaction from being the first to ‘Like’ this post. It may even have been me who ‘Liked’ one of your comments. I wasn’t aware of this feature until recently either (possibly for the same reasons as you; possibly because it’s a new feature? Perhaps we shall never know). It’s all a blooming minefield, isn’t it? Liking, and ‘favouriting’ (which isn’t even a verb), and following, and tweeting, and… I’ve just disappeared up my own arsehole. I ‘Like’ your blog. And also like it. There. I’m done now. As you were.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen says:

      You know, I intended to leave the first comment on this post and then go back and Like my own comment (a joke that would be apparent to no one else but me, I believe), but you beat me to it!

      Anyway, I like your comment 🙂

      Like

  2. Petrossa says:

    mmmm, kinda takes the fun out of being Liked by you 😥 Indiscriminately Liking anything does take the oomph out of it. Otoh never having been Liked by you makes me feel really really bad because i’m not even good enough to be Liked by an indiscriminate Liker!

    Thanks for pushing me into an existential crisis, i was so happy before

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ellen Hawley says:

    Yup, me too: I just had to hit Like at the top of the post.

    It’s all pretty weird, this Liking business. Someone writes a moving and beautifully written post about some disaster in their lives and what do we do? We hit Like.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen says:

      Yeah, that’s one of the problems I had with Liking, which is why I decided to stop Liking posts and instead would Comment. Unfortunately, that lead to me leaving a lot of insipid Comments on blogs (which you’ve probably noticed from what I’ve had to say on your blog) so I just threw up my hands and starting Liking posts again. Better to “Like” than to be thought a total moron!

      But I swear, I’m not going to give in on this issue. 😉

      Like

  4. noisynoodle says:

    I thought liking comments was a bit pointless when first made available, but I totally get it now. 1) You can now tip your hat to supreme commenters. It means nothing, and is barely noticable – but you can. 2) You can end a conversation by liking the last comment without feeling compelled to say something in response. There are probably other reasons but I haven’t thought of them yet 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Petrossa says:

      with a weird side effect that comments describing atrocious acts are being Liked as well which makes me always wonder if they like the atrocious act, if they like it the person wrote about it or if they actually don’t like it but want it known they disagree with the content.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Karen says:

      Here’s the thing, though: In other commenting systems (Disqus, for example) you can “upvote” a comment and eventual the commenter earns some sort of status like “Trusted User” or “Top Commenter” or something like that–a little badge near their name that identifies them. I could see the point of Liking comments here if you could earn “Supreme Commenter” or some other designation. In fact, that might encourage more comments on blogs if there was some sort of reward for commenting (and I know having a badge near your name is a pretty lame reward, but still . . .)

      Like

      • noisynoodle says:

        I do like the upvote, but the trusted user thing doesn’t mean that much though as commenters come and go. A badge might help incentivise some to comment, but most people are lurkers online and want to remain that way. If WordPress comments had a shelf life perhaps we’d all let loose a bit more!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. balletandboxing says:

    I am grateful that I have not yet discovered how to Like comments on my mobile (the apparatus from which I do most of my blog reading). It saves me such soul-searching. My incompetence comes in handy, sometimes, in designing a simple lifestyle.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. rossmurray1 says:

    I agree with Noisynoodle. I find them handy for closing comment conversations, you know those ones that develop into ever-narrowing threads? It’s a way of saying, “Good one. I’m out” instead of running the blog equivalent of “You hang up first… No, YOU hang up first… no, YOU…!”
    That said, I use them with discretion. Let’s not devalue the “like” (heaven forbid).

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Elyse says:

    I first thought they were stupid. Then I kind of liked them in the way Ross, above, says. But I’ve noticed that where my inbox used to be full of new interesting blog posts and follows and comments (and, ok, likes) on MY blog — now it’s a total fucking “like” fest. Which I don’t “LIKE” at all. I spend so much time deleting likes from all over the sphere, that I have less time to read blogs and comment and yes, even “LIKE” them.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Belladonna Took says:

    So here’s where I stand on this very important issue…
    * I comment if I have something to say.
    * I’ll like a comment you post in response to me if I don’t have anything new to say in response to your comment, but I want to let you know I’ve read what you said. (The “like” does not necessarily mean I agree, approve or wish to hug you. It’s pretty much, “Yup. I hear ya” in a format that doesn’t require any further response from you. Unless you’re crazy obsessive, of course.)
    * I’ll very occasionally like a comment someone else posts on a blog if I think they’ve said something amazingly insightful and I want to agree without actually getting sucked into the discussion.
    * I’ll like any comment you post on my blog by way of acknowledging that you were there. But this is probably redundant, as a mere like is pretty rude, unless I’m trying to end a conversation; if you take the trouble to comment on my blog I am going to respond with words. It will be nice if you like those words so that I know you’ve read them, but I won’t hate you if you don’t; I’m just thrilled you stopped by even once.
    * As for POSTS … I rarely repost, because honestly there’s so much stuff out there that I want to share because it’s wonderful that if I reposted it all I might just as well be back on Facebook. The HORROR! Plus receiving too many reposts can get annoying; if I follow your blog it’s because I want to read YOU, not your bestie, even if she does have the cutest way of decorating and photographing cupcakes EVER. So instead, I will like posts, thereby causing them to pop up on the nifty little widget on the side of my blog, beneath the suggestion that my own readers go check it out for themselves.

    Feel free to ignore this comment. But if you “like” it I’ll know you really, really meant it… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen says:

      I liked it and I meant it!

      And the way you use “Like” is the way I do–I have the same widget on my sidebar and that’s where good stuff from other bloggers shows up, so I Like posts in order to get them on my blog. I’m not a fan of reblogging–There are two bloggers I follow who reblog A LOT and I think I’m going to have to unfollow them because they’re clogging up my Reader (very often they both reblog the same post).

      Like

      • Belladonna Took says:

        Ja … I just unfollowed one that was a good blog that provided great support for authors, but … too much. 6-7 reposts a day, which would be fine if a goodly percentage of them weren’t cutesy kitties and puppies. Keep that stuff on Facebook, for crying out loud – NOT on my blog!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Joyce says:

    Ha! I noticed you have “liked” my last few blogs, and thought that was completely out of character for you.

    I’m with the others above. Liking someone’s comment on my blog is like an acknowledgement that I can make without having to comment further. It’s like the smiley face at the end of a text exchange so the other person can know you’re moving on. I noticed also that you can only like comments on your blog or those that are made in response to your own comments.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Trent Lewin says:

    Yeah, it’s a horrible feature. Bang the drum! I think some people use it to completely avoid replying to a comment – which is kind of rude. Others use it to end a conversation that might have been occurring – either way, it’s sort of unnatural.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Karen says:

      Until I wrote this post, I had no idea that people used it to cut off convo, but now I see how that might work.

      It is an odd feature, unless it’s used as a way as a way for the community to self-moderate discussion. For example, comments that are UnLiked would be invisible, and comments that are Liked grant a certain amount of authority to the commenter. That’s how the Liking/Up-voting system is used in other commenting systems. Without the ability to “UnLike,” however, the benefit is lost.

      Besides, WordPress has a bunch of other controls that allow bloggers to police their Comments section.

      It really is kind of a head scratcher when you think about it. I wonder why the good people at WordPress added it, other than to make me (more) anxious and insecure. 😉

      Like

      • Trent Lewin says:

        I think WordPress is all about playing into our insecurities. That’s why they prize the stats – if we aren’t being read, we want to post more, no? Anyway, unfortunately, I think the Like comment function is cutting down discussions a fair bit, people just hit the button, end of story.

        Like

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