As we usher out the year of the Horse and wait expectantly for the year of the Goat, both of which have me hankering for the #16 combination (Orange Chicken, Fried Rice, Egg Roll), let’s take a look back to see how I wasted my time (and yours) this year on Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please.
The Post I Regret Writing (2014): Finger Lickin’ Con Because, eh, it’s just not very funny. If you’re a sadist (and because I’m a masochist), here are the previous year’s entries in this category: from 2013 we have eHarmony for the Stars, which was a really good idea in my head, but unfortunately didn’t not come out on the page very well. From 2012 we have the infamous In Praise of Dating Your Dad. I still think that one’s funny, but I’m kind of a jerk.
The Sort of Post I Will Keep Writing Until Someone, Somewhere Likes It: Sex The Americans Style This post was all about doggy style sex and a little bit about the television show the Americans. Yes! I actually wrote a post about that topic! And I will again!
The Post I Like A Lot (But No One Else Did): Where Funny And Sexy Intersect I lie awake at night wishing I’d thought up the line that I stole as the title for this post.
The Post A Lot of People Liked, Inexplicably: Ten Things I Learned About Writing Humor I also learned that people like posts with numbers in them, for some reason.
The Post That Would Land Me in A Re-education Camp in North Korea: One More Reason Why I Have No Followers Because I imagine Kim Jong Un is opposed to anal sex, as well as Cheez Its.
The Post That Got People Talking: Are People Who Comment on the Internet Crazy? Yes, they are. So what does that say about all the people who commented on this post?
The Post That Got People Looking: Fewer Sexual Partners. Bigger Weddings. Happier Marriages? The most viewed post of the year, it got 318 eyeballs on it. You think people come to this blog to read about the sexy sex, but it turns out they’re more interested in chastity and matrimony.
Yeah, I’m as bewildered by it all as you.
Happy New Year to all my blogging friends and all the random weirdos who stumble upon
You can catch the season premiere of The Americans January 28, 2015 on FX.