If You Ban Sex, I’m Going To Take My Ball and Go Home

 

My leftovers will look deceptively edible!

A deal at any price!

As an American, I’ve found it hard to get aroused excited about the 2014 FIFA World Cup, currently being held in and around Rio de Janeiro.  Oh, wait. I better take a moment to explain to my American readers what I’m talking about: the World Cup is this global soccer football soccer tournament held every four years.  A really big thing in other places not located in the United States.  It really is.  I know, I can’t believe it, either, but I’m not shitting you, it’s a very big deal.  I even saw a huge pile of US team jerseys for sale at Costco this past weekend that I, along with all the other shoppers, ignored as we headed off to buy the 42 pound bag of Scoop Away cat litter and the 128-piece Rubbermaid food storage set.

1998163_full-prtEvery so often, I’ll come across a World Cup news story that is so unusual that it piques even my American interest. For example, I was particularly startled by this story, US Team Defeats Ghana. After reading that headline, I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.  Yes, the United States team, led by their captain, Clint Dempsey, managed to win its opening match on Monday!  My red white and blue heart swells with national pride. On the flip side, how depressed is the entire nation of Ghana right now?  I mean, they lost to the Americans.  The Americans!

I’m not sure why Americans, who are exceptional at every thing else, suck at soccer football soccer. Perhaps it has something to do with what you have to do to be good at it. From cbssports.com:

Mexican national team coach Miguel Herrera wants his team thinking about football during the World Cup, not sex.

As such, Herrera has banned his team from having sex during the upcoming World Cup in Brazil.

You can't even get to first base in this game!

Ooooooh. Now I understand why they never score.

And the Mexicans went out and beat Cameroon, 1-0, last Friday. Then the Mexican team went on to play one of the tournament’s favorites, Brazil, to a tie on Tuesday. Those of us here at Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please can only hope that their powers of abstinence are waning. And if the Mexicans lose their next match, I’m calling a victory for sex.

Go Croatia!

You can catch all the exciting World Cup action televised on ABC and ESPN/ESPN2 and streamed on WatchABC and WatchESPN.  Or you can watch paint dry.

Royalty free stock photos including the image in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.  The image of the happy lady with all her lovely plastic containers comes the Rubbermaid website and is believed to comply with fair or acceptable use principles established in U.S. and international copyright law.  The 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil official poster is used in accordance with the guidelines published here.

 

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6 thoughts on “If You Ban Sex, I’m Going To Take My Ball and Go Home

    • Karen says:

      I think not having sex is supposed to make you think about kicking that ball with your foot, instead of picking it up and running with it, the way God intended.

      But yeah, I’m with you there. The only thing not having sex has ever made me do is watch (more) porn.

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  1. barbtaub says:

    I always wanted to use this quote: “It’s not that everything else is always really about sex. Rather, sex is always really about everything else.” [http://socialismandorbarbarism.blogspot.co.uk/2010/02/on-basic-misreading-of-freuds-point-ie.html]

    (Great post. Missed you!)

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    • Karen says:

      Hmmm I’ll have to think more about that quote to see if I agree or not. Or if I even understand it. 😉

      I do, however, love the fact that the blogger used a photo from a soccer game to illustrate the point. How apropos!

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  2. Gus Sanchez says:

    The whole “no sex during the World Cup” thing is just paranoid thinking being displayed by the national team coach. It’s not like there are studies that show holding out and keeping your blue balls tucked in your protective cup make you play better. And does the “no sex” rule apply to masturbation? Because if would think not being able to pleasure yourself would make even the best player all crazy with distraction.

    For the record, Jurgen Klinsmann has said he’s fine with his players having some nookie during the WC. Smart man.

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