As 2013 comes to a close, Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please looks back at all the
stupid shit I wrote on the internet interesting things I wrote and the disturbingfun comments my readers made.
The Post that Got Me Freshly Pressed (Again) Proving once again that the Freshly Pressed selections are made by printing all the posts made in a day and then tossing them into the air and seeing which ones land face up, this short story I wrote in response to a Daily Post challenge, DP Challenge: Welcome to the Committee was Freshly Pressed back in February.
The Busiest Month for Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please In January, I embarked on a scientific experiment to see what would happen if I posted every day, and, because I am lazy, I managed to keep up that frenetic pace for only about a week. As a result, January was the month in which I wrote the highest number of posts, fourteen (fourteen!). As you might imagine, there was a wide range in quality and the month saw such highlights as Super Bowl XLVII Sex Tips, Adventures in Baby Making, The Tattooed Lady, and I Am Not The Surrogate for My Gay Husband as well as the clunkers Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner and And the Portion is Too Small.
The Funniest (IMHO) Post Why I Stopped Liking Your Blog Posts I still laugh when I read it.
The Funniest (IMHO) Post I Wrote About Science Buggery Try to work the word “mini livestock” into conversations as much as possible. It’s not as hard as you might think.
The Most Viewed Post Why, it’s The Best Places to Have Sex in Public (without getting caught) Is to Have Sex in Private, of course! If I never write another word again, this blog would still receive 200 hits a day on that post alone forever and ever until the world ends.
The Most Commented Post(s) Why that Sucky Blog That Sucks Has More Followers than You Do Part I & Part II Turns out my readers had a lot to say about sucky blogs that suck.
The Country I Resolve Not To Write About in 2014 France. For some reason, I kept writing about France and the French in Frigid Loony, Par Les Femmes, All I Ever Needed to Know About Love I Learned from a French Waiter and Turns Out Ellen Degeneres is Not the Only Lesbian in the World. I need to stop that.
The Country I Resolve to Write About Much More in 2014 Canada. Canadians are just way funnier than the French. You can read about how funny Canadians are in Like A Certified Virgin.
Posts that Got Weird People From the Internet Stalking Me Free Your Stomach, and the Rest Will Follow and The Good News is You’re Not Crazy. The Bad News is You Really Are a Dick. Who knew that disgusting food substitutes and sex addicts had such fervent defenders on the internet?
Bloggers Who Made My Comments Section Much Funnier Than My Actual Posts The list is long, but I’ll single out Charles from Legends of Windemere, Chris from Chris De Voss, Dylan from Suffolk Scribblings, Elyse from Fiftyfourandahalf, Gus from Out Where the Buses Don’t Run , Katie from Sass and Balderdash, Michelle from the Green Study, Ross from Drinking Tips for Teens, and a number of bloggers who are smart enough not to reveal their real names to me over on Pucker Up Buttercup and bodycrimes and clevergirleats.
Happy 2014 everyone!
Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG, and Tim Hortons media page.