I Probably Should Not Give Marital Advice (No, really I should. I was right after all)

Since Liam Hemsworth is now out there tongue-kissing some other girl and Miley Cyrus has stopped following him on Twitter, I guess we can now officially declare the Cyrus-Hemsworth relationship over, finished, done, kaput.  Back in March,  I blogged with some pre-marital advice for Miley and when she stops sobbing and eating all the Ben & Jerry’s, I hope she gives this old post a look.

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A huge diamond AND Liam Hemsworth.

The actual size of Miley Cyrus’s engagement ring diamond.

I guess I’m relieved that Hannah Montana’s Mylie Cyrus’s wedding to Liam Hemsworth is on again, at least according to her Twitter feed, where she posted a photo wearing a huge rock her engagement ring. From the Daily Mail:

Without making mention of the return of the bling, the singer posted a picture of herself at a photo shoot with the ring back on late Tuesday.

Wearing a onsie between takes, Miley made sure to have her bejeweled hand front and centre of the shot.

Captioning the photograph – which was made up of two pictures spliced together – ‘It’s a onezie PARTY (of one)’ what Miley really meant it is a ‘I’m still engaged party’.

Like every parent, I have mixed feelings about Hannah’s Miley’s impending wedding.  Are you thinking right now that you’re  a parent and you don’t care one bit about the Cyrus-Hemsworth nuptials?  Ok, so maybe I’m not like every parent.  Maybe I’m the only one who feels this urge to sit Miley down and have a heart to heart talk about this major life decision she’s making.  I imagine it would start off something like this:

Me: You’re not pregnant, are you?

Actually, I don’t know what advice I would give Miley.  According to the Knot Yet Report, Americans are delaying marriage, with the average age of first marriage at historic highs (women, 27 and men, 29). At 19, Miley is an anomaly (her betrothed is 23).  Of course, in other countries, parents breathe a sigh of relief when their daughters finally (finally!) get married at 19, and don’t shame them by stubbornly clinging to spinsterhood into their twenties.  I like to remind my own two daughters that they are lucky to have been born Americans, otherwise they might be married and starting their own households by now.

He has a nice personality.

Your Yurkanian husband.

Me:  You know, when I have to pick up your dirty laundry off the floor, again, it makes me wonder how you would manage in South Yurkania, where girls your age spend the whole day toting water from a stream just so their husbands have something to drink!

The eight year old can’t always tell when I’m joking, but she laughs anyway while hoping her father would never allow her to be sent to South Yurkania (would he?)  The toddler, who has a marginal understanding of English beyond the words “No!” and “Mine!” laughs because Mommy always says funny things, and surely this is another funny thing that Mommy has said.

I got married when I was 23, a few years older than Miley, a few years younger than the average.  I guess I wish I could tell Miley that those four years mattered, that I gained wisdom and experience that made me a better wife and mother.  Then I look at a picture of Liam Hemsworth and all I can think is:

Me: God, is he hot!

Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.

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10 thoughts on “I Probably Should Not Give Marital Advice (No, really I should. I was right after all)

  1. Michelle at The Green Study says:

    I married late (early 30s) and frankly, it really contributes to the solidity of our relationship because we’re too old and cranky to impose ourselves on someone else, much less pack our shit to leave. I might try some of that “foreign lands storytelling” on my 9 year old, though, the next time I have to pick up another pair of dirty socks.

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    • Karen says:

      It doesn’t work. 😉

      I still can’t get them to throw the dirty clothes into the hamper, but they have no problem at all hitting the spot on the floor right next to the hamper . . .

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