Yesterday, the Daily Post asked a question that I often obsess over:
I’ve considered this very question before in Why I Stopped Liking Your Blog Posts, but I continue to wonder about it.
For the record, Do Not Get Sick in the Sink, Please is rapidly approaching 1000 followers, numbers which have been buoyed by a sudden and surprising popularity in Jakarta, a place where everyone seems to be inspired to blog about generic Viagra. I guess “Viagra Blogs” are their version of “Mommy Blogs”. Anyway, I can’t complain too much about my Jakartan followers because at least they speak English, and I guess I can imagine someone there maybe making sense out of a post like Let Go and Let God (Find You a Date for Saturday Night). However, I reserve the right to continue to be suspicious of the mass of followers I’m accumulating in the smallest country in South America, Suriname (pop. 560,000–there are more people living in Vermont), where the official language is Dutch.
In order to answer the question posed by the Daily Post, first we have to understand the different types of Likes and Follows on WordPress blogs.
- Fake Like/Follow: the reader has never read a post on your blog, but Likes/Follows because they have an ulterior motive. Usually, the motive is merely that you will return the Like/Follow (see: Reciprocal Like/Follow) but sometimes it’s to get you to go to their blog and buy generic Viagra.
- Reciprocal Like/Follow: the reader has not read a post on your blog, but Likes/Follows only to get you to Like/Follow their blog. This almost always works with newer bloggers, desperate to increase their readership, and almost never with older bloggers, who have become cynical and jaded by too many bloggers trying to sell them generic Viagra.
- Pity Like/Follow: the reader has actually read your post/blog (finally!) and doesn’t really like it, but they press the Like/Follow button because they feel sorry for you, usually because your post is so pathetic they’re hoping to forestall your suicide by Liking/Following.
- Stalker Like/Follow: the reader is reading every blog post you write, Liking/Following you, following you on Facebook and Twitter, sending you email, and also hiding in the bushes outside your apartment.
- Lurker Like/Follow: the reader pops up on your blog occasionally, and comments just often enough to make your spouse suspicious that there may be something more going on with that blog of yours.
- Genuine Like/Follow: the reader likes you, they really like you.
So there you have all the different types of Likes/Follows. In tomorrow’s post, Why That Sucky Blog that Sucks Has More Followers Than You Do, Part II, I’ll discuss why those other bloggers are getting so many Viagra Bloggers, as well as some genuine, real life people, to Like/Follow their blog, even though it sucks.