Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen

Yes, that's a Twilight reference.

The only thing that stands between me and Team Jacob.

I’m blonde, so I probably spend less time than women with darker hair worrying about body hair, and I can get away with doing a really half-assed job shaving my legs each morning, because I’m horribly nearsighted and really can’t see what I’m doing without my contacts.  Each morning, I shave my pits and I hack at my legs to little effect, but I figure what hair escapes my Venus® Embrace Razor today, I’ll get tomorrow.  It’s only a matter of time, leg hair.  Your days are numbered.

I was a lot more vigilant about body hair when I was dating.  I also wore more makeup, ate more salads, and laughed at jokes that weren’t funny, if the guy was cute enough.  But back to the body hair thing, I maintained a Brazilian throughout college and I know the precise moment I fell in love with my husband (or husband to be): it was when he told me he preferred “a little hair.”  I quickly gave up that particular torture and began making wedding plans.

While I haven’t thought a lot about my own body hair lately, I’ve found myself thinking more and more about my husband’s.  He’s going bald and to hide it, he has come up with the clever masquerade of wearing a baseball cap all the time.  No bald man here, just a guy who likes baseball!  Sometimes I roll over to see him snoring, his mouth open and a bit of drool leaking out, and that goddam Yankees cap still on his head.  I actually don’t mind the baldness, and God knows I prefer it to the Yankees cap (Go Red Sox!).   I figure if he’s willing to accept a little more hair on my lady parts, I’m perfectly able to accept a little less hair on him.

I’m mostly a fan of hair on men, except for back hair.  I once dated a guy who had so much hair all over

But if I did make out with a cat, this is what it would look like.

No, I’ve never made out with a cat, you pervs.

his body  that making out with him was like petting a cat.  But I like facial hair (my husband has an on again/off again goatee) and I’ve always enjoyed the sensation of scratchy whiskers on my skin when we kiss, or wherever his face winds up brushing against my body. I find it very exciting, and another thing I would miss (along with penis) if I ever decided to try out that lesbian thing.

Unless I find the right woman.

Like, for example, this woman, Mariam (she goes by one name only), a German mother who has been letting her facial hair grow since 2008.  From the New York Daily News:

A German woman who struggled with facial hair for nearly two decades said she finally feels sexy, now that she’s ditched the clippers and let her beard grow.

“I feel more confident and I know myself better now than when I was younger,” the 49-year-old mom, identified only as Mariam, told the British talk show, “This Morning.”

Mariam now has a sort of wispy goatee (that you can see if you click on the link to the article) that reminds me a lot of the “beard” my high school boyfriend, Keith, tried to grow senior year so he would look old enough to buy beer.  That didn’t work for Keith, and I’m not sure this look is working for Mariam.  She’s been single for about ten years now and, according to the article, is “looking for love.”

Got to wonder what that eHarmony profile looks like.

You can read more about my high school boyfriend Keith in the posts My Sophomore Year of Celibacy and Remind Me Not to Date Taylor Swift.

Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG. The image of the Venus® Embrace Razor comes from the Gillete website.

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11 thoughts on “Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen

  1. Joyce says:

    Brazilian – is that, like, completely bare? I want to Google it but I’m sort of afraid of pictures popping up.

    I admire Miriam’s courage, but I don’t know if you can “ditch the clippers” and “look for love” at the same time.

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    • Karen says:

      Yes, it is completely bare.

      When I think of Mariam dating, I’m reminded of the adage, “There is a lid for every pot.” Or in her case, there is some perv out there who has been dreaming of kissing a bearded woman his entire life.

      😉

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  2. Clever Girl says:

    I love guys with facial hair too! Used to be crazy about rockers guys with long hair but they don’t age well. Anyway, nicely written. I’ll def check out more of your posts since I’m not getting any sex and I figured I might as well read about it.

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  3. stillstrange says:

    I do believe your the only one I know (or don’t know) that can go from writing about dating guys with hair to having sex with cats. I should hope not! Very good. 🙂

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    • Karen says:

      I’m not having sex with cats! I only wrote about making out with cats. Anyway, I don’t think a cat would let you get much past second base* or so . . . 😉

      *For my non-American readers, “second base” is make out slang, taken from the game of baseball, for the various levels/intensities of making out. There is much debate about what each level entails, but back when I was in high school, first base was kissing, second base was touching above the waist, third base below the waist, and home was, well, um, scoring (having sex). Some folks will argue that second base involves tongue-kissing, but they’re wrong.

      😉

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  4. girlseule says:

    I remember in the late 90s, when I first started having sex, there was no such thing as brazillians at least not where i grew up. everyone just had pubic hair, being bald was unheard of and would have been weird. Suddenly, just a few years later, everyone was getting rid of it, to the point, now, it’s almost expected. I like to keep a bit down there. Body hair on women is such an issue, once I grew my armpits, my god I was nearly disowned by friends and family alike!

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    • Karen says:

      Hmmm. I’m probably around your age (I was born in 1980), and I grew up in coastal New England where we spent much of the year hanging out at the beach, so I was familiar with what we called a “bikini wax.” Not sure when I first heard the term “Brazilian,” but I know by the time I was in college it was de rigueur.

      I think pubes are making a bit of a comeback, though, to everyone’s relief. Or it may just be an age thing (the young things are still doing it, but old biddies like me just don’t care anymore. Can’t say for sure since I haven’t seen any 20 year old vaginas lately).

      😉

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