The car I drove for much of my early adulthood sported a bumper sticker that read “Lord, save us from your followers.” Occasionally, I would get a thumbs up from a like-minded traveller, but more frequently, especially after I moved out of a liberal college town and into the “real world” of suburban Philadelphia and (especially) northern Virginia, I was met with hostile glares and even a “Fuck you, your car sucks!” hurled through my rolled down window by a teenager as he passed my four cylinder Subaru on I-76. I can’t be sure if that particular insult was directed at the bumper sticker or merely an editorial comment on the Subaru’s lack of horsepower, but for the sake of telling a better story, let’s say the kid was responding to, and proving the point of, my bumper sticker.
I got to thinking about that old bumper sticker again as I read this article in today’s Washington Post, Evoking God has been Good to ChristianMingle. ChristianMingle.com, for those who have been fortunate enough to miss the constant barrage of television ads for the service when I’m trying to watch
Storage Wars, dammit, is an on line dating site for lovelorn Christians. I’m sure the service accepts membership from non-believers like me, but I couldn’t even get past the registration process, because they kept asking tricky questions like “How often do you attend church?” and “What is the denomination of the church you attend now?” without giving the options of “Never” and “I don’t attend any church” from the drop down menu. Plus, I think the site, not to mention all of Christendom, probably frowns upon the fact that I am currently married and attempting to complete a profile on a dating website.
I learned to steer clear of religious people in my dating life after once, while making what I thought was casual conversation with a guy at a party, I asked, “What religion are you?” and he responded, “I belong to the one, true, church!” and his eyes glazed over as he handed me a pamphlet. So it’s hard for me to imagine people who would seek out dates with religious folks, rather than avoid them, as I have done. I guess there would be some benefit to dating a really religious person. For example, all that agonizing over the right time to have sex so he doesn’t think I’m a slut would be avoided (the only right time is the wedding night).
But really, all I can see are the drawbacks to dating a really religious Christian. Well, mostly it’s that part about having to wait until the wedding night to have sex that troubles me.
You can catch new episodes of Storage Wars every Tuesday at 9/8C on A&E.