The Pros and Cons of Polygamy and Turkey Leftovers

Polygamy and polyamory has been the topic of this blog before, most notably in the posts Polyamory: Married & Dating and People Who Just Had Sex (NSFW), and I have to confess it’s a topic I am absolutely fascinated disgusted fascinated by.  I came across this article in the Washington Post back in October, Polygamy May Be Hot, But In Marriage, Three’s Still a Crowd and meant to write about it then, but I guess the topics that took my attention (Starbucks and masturbating in public and unsafe sex in pornos and Oprah Winfrey) just seemed more pressing.

Gobble, gobble!

From this picture, you would think turkey tastes good, wouldn’t you?

Now here we are on the last day of November, our turkey has been eaten and  . . . well, to be more accurate, I didn’t eat much turkey, and threw the leftovers into the trash a few days ago.  They smelled funky to me.  In fact, turkey always smells funky to me, I don’t even like it.  I just succumbed to holiday pressure and made a 20 pound turkey for Thanksgiving to feed nine people, so I needed each of them to eat approximately two pounds of turkey to avoid leftovers, and let me tell you, they did not hold up their end of that bargain.  None of them even came close, with the kids finding it infinitely more satisfying to feed their share to our pet cat, Noodles, than to, you know, eat it themselves.  While Noodles was pleased with this arrangement it still left me with an overwhelming amount of turkey.  Sure, at first I had grand ambitions of making turkey pie or turkey soup or turkey sandwiches with the leftovers, but, as previously mentioned, I don’t really like turkey.  The trash seemed a much better option.

So, to be more precise, here we are at the end of November, having eaten not-so-much turkey, and thinking about polygamy. The article from the Post posits the following question.

If Americans increasingly value their rights to privacy and liberty above historical social norms, then why should the state not legally approve other unconventional domestic set-ups?

While I kinda/sorta practiced in the field of matrimonial law for a bit, I don’t necessarily want to wade into the legal issues surrounding polygamy, because this blog is mostly about stupid stuff and sex.  So instead of writing anything intelligent on this topic, I decided to make a list of pros and cons of being in a polygamous marriage.

"And she never, ever unloads the dishwasher."

Sister-wives, talking shit about me behind my back.

  1. Pro:  I’d only have to have sex with my husband once in a while.  Con:  I’d only get to have sex with my husband once in a while.
  2. Pro:  I’d have sister-wives that would do a share of household chores.  Con: I’d have sister-wives who would glare at me when I neglected to do my share of household chores.
  3. Pro: I’d have built-in babysitters to watch my kids while my husband and I went out dancing and drinking.  Con:  I’d be expected to watch the brats of my sister-wives while they went out dancing and drinking with my husband.

Boy, this polygamy thing sounds more and more like total bullshit.

So what did you do with your turkey leftovers?

Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.

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