Everything I Needed to Know About Sex I Learned Watching Porn

This past week the New York Times Fashion and Style section profiled internet porn mogul businesswoman Cindy Gallop, who has become a internet porn mogul  web entrepreneur with her development of the site, MakeLoveNotPorn.com.  You see, Cindy Gallop, who has a thing for sweet young things (who doesn’t?) noticed something about her young men.  From the article Spreading the Word (and Pictures) on ‘Real’ Sex:

About a decade ago, Cindy Gallop, a pixie-like businesswoman, said she began dating and sleeping with men about half her age. While their stamina and her experience made a good combination, Ms. Gallop said, she also discerned a disturbing trend: the boudoir moves of many of her young lovers seemed drawn entirely from pornography.

Porn is so educational they should show it on PBS.

I’ll confess that all my “boudoir moves” are drawn from pornography.  I learned how to give a decent (ok, spectacular) blow job from watching porn, and I don’t think that knowledge gained has “disturbed” any of my partners.  In fact, as a woman who had my share of awkward, fumbling sexual encounters with men we dubbed “clitards” (shorthand for being, um, absolutely retarded about the location of the clitoris) in college, I kinda wish some of those guys spent more time watching porn, because they might have learned something.  And if their sexual skills did not improve over time, I’m guessing they’re spending lots and lots of time watching porn, alone, now.

Still, I consider myself a feminist, and I’ve always been a bit ambivalent about pornography.  While I agree it objectifies women, and lots and lots and lots of porn (the kind I don’t like) humiliates and degrades us, a great deal of it just shows pretty people with fake boobs and enormous penises getting it on.  And just because I want to vicariously experience having my hair pulled and being called your “dirty slut” via some lame porno, doesn’t mean I deserve to be paid 77¢ for every dollar a man earns.

I do wonder about how the the widespread prevalence of pornography today affects our sexuality.  My introduction to porn was discovering my Dad’s stash of Playboys when I was seven and then, years later, attempting to “cyber” through a dial up internet connection in an AOL chat room.  In college, I dated a guy who showed me grainy snippets of free porn on the internet while we made fun of the “actors” and “actresses.”  What would my seven year old self stumble upon today?  What do girls do in 2012 with AOL’s Teen Lounge consigned to the dust bin of history?  Are seventeen year old freshmen expected to joyfully participate in gang bangs and domination and toe sucking?

Btw, I absolutely draw the line at toe sucking, so get your stinky feet out of my face.

Ah, I’m beginning to sound like some middle aged crank going on about the “old days” when everything was so

Mugshot of a tentacle rapist.

wonderful.  “In my day, we didn’t have any of this new fangled tentacle rape.  We had our vibrators and our flavored lube and we were happy to have that.”

 

 

Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG

5 thoughts on “Everything I Needed to Know About Sex I Learned Watching Porn

  1. Castimonia says:

    Porn taught me to degrade and dominate women. I watched hardcore pornography beginning at 4 years old. I am now a recovering sexual addict. Pornography significantly and negatively affects the brain – the reason girls these days are feeling “forced’ to do things sexually they would not usuall feel comfortable doing is because of the escalation factor of porn addiction. In order to get the greatest “high” from the neurotransmitters the brain produces during intensive sexual acting out, the sexual acts have to become more and more perverse and degraded.

    A woman should only do what she is comfortable doing sexually, not because her boyfriend or husband has been watching pornography and is expecting gang bangs, tentacle rape, etc…

    Take what you like and leave the rest…

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    • Karen says:

      Thank you for your comment and for sharing your experience. I’m not sure if the data bears out your contention that pornography “escalates,” I.e. I start off getting turned on by watching a couple having sex and eventually the only thing that gets my engine revving is viewing six midgets impale one another with giant black dildoes (or, um, whatever). But I recognize that this “escalation” argument is one that is made against pornography.

      But, again, thank you for your comment. I don’t wish to engage in debate here; I mainly just crack dumb jokes.

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      • Castimonia says:

        Thank you for the response. I know escalation is difficult to understand. Escalation only happens with addiction, if you are not addicted to the chemicals produced by the brain while watching pornography, chances are, you won’t need the harder stuff to get off. Furthermore, escalation occurs with time and overexposure to pornography, not with occational viewing and non addictive viewing.

        Also, keep in mind, that not everyone who watches pornography is a sex/porn addict, and not all sex/porn addicts watch pornography!

        Thanks.

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