Sometimes I wonder how drunk I would have to be to participate in an orgy. Or how cute the guys would have to be. Or what combination of alcohol and attractiveness would be required. I’m looking at the photo from this article in The New Yorker about some Chinese government officials who just got caught having the group sexy times and I’m thinking there’s not enough jiu (that’s the Chinese word for “alcoholic beverage.” See? This blog is educational) in China to get me to bang any of those guys.
I like how they took the time out of their orgy to pose for that photo, just like we used to do in elementary school. I mean, we posed for group portraits in elementary school, we didn’t have orgies. At least, not at my school.
Do you remember those class photos? Short people in front, tall people in back. I’m wondering if the Chinese created a sort of orgy yearbook that they’ll find years from now, in the back of a closet. They’ll sit down with it, and flip through the pages and reminisce. “Oh, remember him? He smelled like sauerkraut and sneezed when he came.”
Really, I don’t see myself ever being part of an orgy, but there’s a piece over at Cafe Mom that encourages readers to create a sexual bucket list, the term popularized by the Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman film in which two geezers do a bunch of crazy stuff before they die, i.e. before they “kick the bucket,” like jump out of airplanes, etc. “Engage in group sex” is the fourth item on the author’s own list, right after “Have a threesome” (I guess it doesn’t qualify as group sex until you add a fourth person) and right before “Have phone sex.” There are fifty items on her list and by the end she was really grasping at straws to fill out that list. “A quickie in a skirt”? Ok, maybe. But “A longie in the rain”? Really? You don’t want to die until you have sex for a long time in the freaking rain? Do you realize what your hair is going to look like after that?
Take a look at the list, and let’s hear in the comments how many you’ve done, or feel free to add your own (her list does kinda suck). I’ll go first, but I’m not saying which ones.