There’s an App for That

I probably think about dating more than a married person should, but I figure it keeps my husband on his toes.  I’ve blogged about my

I enjoy long walks on the beach, cuddling and throwing feces at one another.

own dating experiences before, from putting a condom on a man in Blog Posts I Didn’t Write, to being the girlfriend of a guy who lived in his parents’ basement in Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am, to the various types of kissers I’ve encountered in The Kiss, and my dating advice to never, ever, never send nude pictures in #1617 In Our On Going Series  “Why You Should Never Send Nakie Pics Over the Interwebs.”  I think my fascination with dating is similar to the reason people like to go to zoos.  I like to peer through the bars of the cage, watching all the single people milling about aimlessly, all the while I’m safely outside.

So it was with great interest that I read this article in Monday’s Washington PostMobile Dating Apps Grow in Popularity.

The article looks at several mobile applications that appear to be aimed at people who don’t have time to date.  Why people who don’t have time to date would be interested in dating applications, I don’t know.  Well, I have an idea (and, admit it, so do you.  I’m not the only one whose mind is in the gutter here).  They’re looking for the most efficient way to score sex, without paying a prostitute.  Take, for instance, this guy.

Franklin Horn had never tried mobile dating before.

“I don’t think I would have started it on my own, and I’m in the software industry,” said Horn, 27, who works at a tech startup in Santa Monica. “It’s a hard thing to put yourself out there.”

He used three apps: eHarmony, Skout and MeetMoi. While he didn’t go on any dates, Horn said he exchanged about 150 casual messages with a few women.

“Since I’m single and busy, I wanted to use it as a way to practice flirting and see the technology behind the apps,” he said.

So our friend Franklin here was essentially a pussy-tease, sending suggestive messages, but not closing the deal.

I met my husband when I was drunk at a party, the way God intended people to meet.  I slipped him my phone number and he didn’t call me for two months, and by that time he probably wasn’t sure who I was anymore (I was the drunk blonde), but we met for drinks anyway.  I can’t imagine what would have transpired between us if we were forced to exchange hundreds of “casual” text messages without him even asking me out on a date.  Actually, I can imagine it.

wot r u wearing?

Me:  Hi.  Remember me?  From last night?

My Future Husband: wr u the blotto blnde or the blotto brnette?

Me: The blonde.  Really, I wasn’t drunk.  I was tipsy at most.

MFH: Didn’t u puke in the umbrlla stand by the frnt door?

Me: No, that was the brunette.

MFH: ‘k.  How r u?

Me: I’m really good.  I enjoyed talking with you last night.

MFH: Me 2.

Me:  Can you stop with the text speak?  All you’re doing is eliminating random vowels, and it’s kind of stupid.

MFH: Wow.  U r a btch.

Me:  & u r a douche.  Don’t ever call me.

Here’s some links to those dating apps, if you’re crazy horny interested.


SKOUT (I’m actually familiar with SKOUT but not for the reasons they want me to be.  They’ve been at the center of a legal controversy because of allegations that the application was used to facilitate (gulp!) rape.  You can read about that here: Social App Skout Suspends Teen Community After Rape Allegations )







Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.


6 thoughts on “There’s an App for That

    • Karen says:

      Thanks. I’m probably going to write some more about internet dating because I have a couple of ideas percolating in my head. I can’t decide if computers and high speed connections are a boon to romance, or if it just means you have to wade through that many more douchebags frogs before you meet your prince/princess. I guess it’s funny, as long as you’re not the one having to deal with it 🙂


      • rebecca2000 says:

        I have a douchebag post coming soon myself. 😉 I think it is 6 of one half a dozen of another. Internet just makes some socially stunted people have an easier time finding someone.


  1. Rantypants says:

    I completely agree with the anecdote at the end. I’ve exchanged numbers with potential friends at the end of a party and never spoken to again because their text messages look like they were written be an epileptic chimp in a disco.

    That said, online dating is really big now (for the long term dating scene), so maybe mobile apps are the new frontier for all those creepy/horny folks out there, which leads to the question of what happens after the “normal” folk take over mobile apps too? Tweet dates?

    Keep up the good work, your blog posts kill me (in the good way)


    • Karen says:

      I’m glad I’m killing you (in a good way). I think you’re a bit younger than me (See? I did check out your blog), but internet dating has been around for awhile, and I’m old enough to remember the stir it caused in my dormitory when one of my floormates began dating a guy she met online. We were all atwitter over this, and convinced he was a sex pervert, which was both scary and titillating. Then when we actually met the guy, he turned out to be some boring econ major from Drexel, and not the leering drooling creep we fantasized about imagined.


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