Remind Me Not to Date Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift’s bread and butter.

Do you ever wonder what it’s like to date Taylor Swift?  It’s got to be terrible, because you know all the time she’s just itching to break up with you so she can go off and write a song about it.  It must be a little like being in an abusive relationship where you walk around on eggshells, afraid to  say the wrong thing, or look at her the wrong way, or part your hair on the wrong side, and she’ll scream, “That’s it!  We’re through!” and grab her guitar and head to the recording studio.

Swift has written a bunch of break up songs, and she’s only 22.  At this rate, there won’t be any men left by the time she hits 30.  So far, she’s written about Joe Jonas in “Forever and Always”  ( I used to fantasize about making out with Joe Jonas, until he turned eighteen, and the thought of it became less exciting) and John Mayer (reportedly) in “Dear John.”  The lyrics to “Dear John” are particularly brutal.  Let’s take a look.

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong

Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be played with?

Your dark twisted games when I loved you so

I should’ve known

You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry

Never impressed by me acing your tests

All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes

‘Cause you’ve burn them out

I think she’s looking at you, Jennifer Aniston (one of John Mayer’s exes for those of you who don’t watch TMZ obsessively, like I do).

Now here comes Swift’s new single about a break up, “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together.” She’s not saying who it’s about, though.  You can check it out on YouTube.  Not one of her better efforts, IMHO, but you judge for yourself.

I still think the best break up song Swift wrote is “Picture to Burn.”

Ah, that first scene in this video with Swift and a girlfriend sitting in a car, stalking her ex, brings back memories.  I actually did something similar (who hasn’t?) when I begged a friend to drive with me over to my ex’s apartment building where we sat in the parking lot and watched the lights go off and on in his apartment for several hours as he (or it could have been his roommate.  It was really dark and we were kinda far away) walked from the living room to the kitchen and then back again.  Oh, don’t feel sorry for my friend for enduring that evening with me.  She once made me go with her to a restaurant and order a dinner I couldn’t afford because she liked a waiter there.  At least sitting with me in a parking lot didn’t max out her credit card.

Romance tip: Use nice stationary if you’re going to pour your soul out. And remember, teenage girls are fucking heartless.

So Taylor Swift has got me thinking about break ups and break up songs, which always go together.  When I broke up with my high school boyfriend, Keith, he wrote out the complete lyrics to  Guns ‘n’ Roses “November Rain” on a piece of lined notebook paper and slipped it into my locker.  I showed it to one of my wise ass friends, who laughed and said “Doesn’t he know it’s May?” which was both literally and metaphorically true.

The ultimate kick ass break up song is, of course, Alanis Morisette’s “You Oughta Know” which I remember blasting from my car stereo right after I got dumped by my first college boyfriend, with tears streaming down my face in such a torrent that I could barely see where I was driving.  If he could have known about it, I’m sure Keith would have been thinking it served me right.  And of course, as far as break up songs go, nothing compares to Sinead O’Connor’s cover of “Nothing Compares 2 U.” 

So what’s your favorite break up song?  And were you ever stupid over some girl/guy?

Royalty free stock photos including the images in this post can be found at Stock.XCHNG.

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “Remind Me Not to Date Taylor Swift

  1. Rantypants says:

    Hilariously, I was never overly emotional after a real break up (I’ve only been dumped once), but when I was in college a friend rejected my offer to be more than just friends and I spent a week listening to pretty much every break up song that was sang in the English language and moping around my college dorm room.

    Like

    • Karen says:

      You have led a charmed life if you’ve only been dumped once! Or maybe you were a practitioner of the “preemptive break up” (bonus points to all you out there who recognize this reference).

      Like

  2. sanityandcigarettes says:

    That is a great break up song. Mine was more than a feeling by boston – you can crank up some head banging as well… and let’s be honest, a bit of head banging can get you through anything…

    Like

    • Karen says:

      I had to check the lyrics because I did not realize “More Than a Feeling” was a break up song, but Marianne does sound like she was someone special. 😉

      Like

  3. Jani says:

    I think Adele has some of my favorite breakup songs. And though stupid doesn’t define my relationship with guys, sometimes I think it could! 🙂

    Like

    • Karen says:

      Oh, yeah, Adele. 21 is beautiful and depressing, and “Someone Like You” probably would be my go to break up song if I were out and about and dating in the world today.

      Like

  4. prosewithabbitude says:

    Ace of Base, “Don’t Turn Around” and No Doubt, “Don’t Speak”. Also, Bonnie Rait, “I Can’t Make You Love Me”.

    Like

    • Karen says:

      Oh, God–yes, yes, and yes. After I wrote this post, I actually thought about that Bonnie Raitt song (which I love, but it makes me want to slit my wrists). An absolutely beautiful song, and if I had to rewrite this blog post, I’d probably bump Sinead O’Connor and stick “I Can’t Make You Love Me” in there. I’ve been thinking about sad love songs the past two days, and trying not to sob uncontrollably. 😉

      Like

      • prosewithabbitude says:

        The Taylor Swift heading caught my eye on your post as I just wrote a post the other day trashing modern day music, and Taylor was on that list! Sinead is certainly a good one indeed. Despite the extreme melancholy Bonnie’s has a certian eloquance to it. I’ve also realized the best break up songs are from the 90s and 80s. After my comment I googled top break up songs and the hodge podge of the 2000’s time that was listed I think maybe I had heard one or two of them previously.

        Like

        • Karen says:

          Oh, I dunno. Every generation prefers the music they grew up with, but it’s too easy to fall off into Cranky Old Person territory ranting about them kids today and their gosh darn rock and roll music. There’s plenty of good music being recorded today and when I’m lazy and don’t feel like blogging, I link to YouTube videos of artists I enjoy. While I won’t call myself a fan of Taylor Swift, her music is pretty infectious (in a good way) country-pop.

          And if we’re talking about new break up songs, Gotye’s “Somebody I Used to Know” really should be here, I just got sick of hearing it so much this summer.

          Like

  5. Cube Queen says:

    Yeah.. Alanis stole my song. I swear that has to be the ultimate breakup song of all time. I moved all the way a cross the country to move in with a guy who I thought was the love of my life for him to dump me for someone else leaving me stranded in the freaking MIDWEST (from cali) Took me two years to get the hell back to Cali Yeah… I was just a little bitter!!!

    Like

    • Karen says:

      Oh, I’m a big fan of Taylor Swift and I’ve really come to like the song I wrote about here, “We Are Never Ever Ever Getting Back Together” though as evidenced by this blog post, I was not in love with it on first hearing. She’s very talented, writes her own songs, and the fact that she’s out there, trying out different relationships, I think is a good thing, and something we hope for our daughters. Unfortunately, she gets a lot of flak for it (partly because she seems to use these relationships as fodder for her music career).

      Since I just admitted to being a fan of Taylor Swift, I feel now that I have to maintain some sort of street cred by letting you know I listened to lots of Dinosaur Junior and Sonic Youth in high school/college (and a bunch of other bands too obscure to mention). There. I feel better about myself now.

      Like

Comments are closed.