I think about sex a lot, and if you’re a man I’ve ever exchanged more than ten words with, I probably thought about what it would be like to do it with you during the time it took for us to talk about the weather, or the Phillies, or that funny smell in the break room. It’s just something I do. It doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you, it doesn’t mean that I’m-climbing-the-walls-horny, it just means that when my brain is less than engaged it wanders straight into the gutter.
Despite this fact of my nature, I can honestly say that I never ever never considered having sex with my professors in order to improve my grades. That’s not to say that I didn’t think about having sex with them (Ah, Dr. Jefferies!), but in my fantasies, we would have sex for other reasons than to boost my GPA, like because I was so brilliant and funny and he simply adored flat chested women.
Looking back on it, I wish I had thought of it! Remember all those freaking late night study sessions? Remember filling blue book after blue book with the endless BS from the semester? Remember handing in tedious papers on some awful topic I had meticulously researched for weeks and weeks of my life? It would have been so much easier just to blow Professor Wacholz.
While that method of academic, um, achievement did not occur to me, it has occurred to at least one enterprising student at the National University of Singapore, and her accomodating professor, Tey Tsun Hang. From the Straits Times:
Court documents indicated that Tey, 41, is accused of obtaining gratification in the form of sex – on two occassions – and other items such as a Mont Blanc pen, an Apple iPod as well as two tailored-made shirts from former student Darinne Ko Wen Hui, 23.
Which only leaves me with one more question: How lousy a lay do you have to be that some dorky law prof demands that you pile on a Mont Blanc Pen, an iPod and two expensive shirts before he’s giving up that fucking A?
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