Three Ways to Revive Your Stalled Career

I’ve been thinking about different stuff.  One of the things I’ve been thinking about is that there appear to be three ways to revive your career if you’re a washed up actress.  In no particular order, here they are:

  1. Get really fat, and then drop a bunch of weight you claim to have lost on some commercial diet plan that is now paying you a gazillion dollars as spokesperson (Rock Guitarist’s Wife).
  2. Go on Dancing With the Stars after you get so old and/or  get so fat and/or change your sex so that your former fans eyes bug out as they sputter “She looks like THAT now?”  (Untalented Offspring of famous Parents).
  3. Announce that you’re a lesbian (Alex Keaton’s Mom).

And that brings us to the story of actress Kirstie Alley, who has done numbers one (twice!) and two and now it’s looking like the general public may be tired of her shit because she’s being sued .  Not sure of the merits of the case, but it got me thinking that maybe Kirstie Alley should try out that lesbian thing for her next comeback attempt, because being a lesbian has got to be easier on the cardiovascular system than repeating the cycle of stuffing and starving yourself, don’t you think?

P.S. Looks like Alley’s latest get thin quick diet, Organic Liaison, may be some sort of Scientology scam scheme program.

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