While the rest of us regular nerds spend a lot of time thinking about regular sex, dinosaur nerds, as might be expected, spend a lot of time thinking about dinosaur sex, so much so that Smithsonian.com, which published an article on the topic last year, has returned to the subject again here.
So how did dinosaurs have sex? After reading the articles, which weren’t nearly as titillating as I’d hoped, it turns out that we just don’t know, due to the lack of fossil finds of the soft tissue that made up dinosaur naughty bits. Still, there’s lots of sexy conjecture, including this homoerotic scenario envisioned by paleontologist Edwin H. Colbert.
In his 1977 tale of a female “brontosaur” (now known as Apatosaurus), paleontologist Edwin Colbert imagined what happened when the males of the sauropod herds began to feel the itch. “Frequently two males would face each other, to nod their heads up and down or weave them back and forth through the considerable arcs,” he imagined, speculating that, “at times they would entwine their necks as they pushed against each other.”
fantasy theory turns out to be true, maybe the sudden extinction of dinosaurs isn’t the mystery we’ve always thought it was, given this tendency to make a bee line straight for members of their own sex when they felt a stirring in their loins, a strategy not known to be the most conducive for, you know, reproducing.
Or maybe the dinosaurs, with their notoriously small brains, just couldn’t quite figure the whole sex thing out. I’ve known a number of Ph.Ds who have the same difficulty, and we’re expecting more from dinosaurs? And let’s face it, sexing a dinosaur must have been a logistical nightmare, with the armored skin, and the protruding spines, and the razor-edged teeth, and the horns, and the (I imagine) unremittingly hostile demeanor. Faced with the daunting challenge of trying to negotiate his way into some young lovely ankylosaurus’s panties, surely even the loneliest dinosaur could be a bit put off by the bony tail she wielded like a club.