Over at the Daily Post, this week’s Writing Challenge has the theme of Starting Over, which got me thinking about all the do-overs I would like to have if life had a practice run.
What follows is a very incomplete list of experiences I would like to go back and start over.
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Red sofas are cruel and inhumane.
If I had to do it over again, I would not agree with the volunteer at the animal shelter that declawing cats is cruel and inhumane.
If I had to do it over again, I would not buy a red sofa, which looks even worse now that the cat has scratched it to shreds.
If I had to do it over again, I would not eat the bowl of clam chowder left out overnight on the kitchen counter.
If I had to do it over again, I would not smile politely at the creepy guy behind me at the Dunkin Donuts when he asked if I had a boyfriend.
” . . .and I’ll never, ever, ever love anyone else ever again, Danny!”
If I had to do it over again, I would knee him in the groin when he followed me out to my car.
If I had to do it over again, I would listen to my mother when she told me not to date Danny Okulski, who was a senior when I was a freshman.
If I had to do it over again, I would not send that sappy Hallmark card to Danny Okulski after he dumped me.
And finally, if I had to do it over again, I would not run into the cheapie hair salon for a “trim,” a word that the butcher stylist interpreted to mean “keep on cutting until I jump out of the chair and scream at you to stop” because after that hair cut, I was just a flannel shirt away from dating Jodie Foster.
Tagged: DPChallenge, food poisoning, Jodie Foster, Supercuts®
Karen, that is some funny stuff! Loved that last post, Some great early morning humor to start off my day, too good.
Thanks. This is my first attempt at one of the WP prompts, so glad you enjoyed.
funny and disturbing esp the Dunkins stalker!
Oh, not as scary as I made it sound, more annoying than anything else.
and I understand your salon woes, I still have post traumatic twinges when my grandmother’s stylist made my do into a mullet when I was 12
Hah! Yeah, I think all women have these stories. WP should make that a Weekly Writing Challenge: My Hair Styling Horror Story.