The United Nations wants us to eat more bugs. Of course, the United Nations wants us to do a lot of things, including celebrate June 1 as the Global Day of Parents (UN resolution 66/292) and recognize 2014 as the International Year of Crystallography (UN resolution 66/284), and some other stuff having to do with peace around the world, and we haven’t been doing a bang up job of that, so I don’t think they’re going to be successful with this bug eating campaign. However, I may go along with that Global Day of Parents thing if it means I get a present.
But let’s get back to the bug-eating thing. In order to facilitate more bug-eating, there is a fascinating (honest, I’m not joking, read it) report issued by the Food and Agricultural Organization of the United Nations, Edible Insects. If you read the report, you’ll find out that not only does the UN want us to eat bugs, they want us to cultivate bugs. And they want us to stop calling bugs “bugs” and in an interesting bit of doublethink along the lines of how “used” cars are now “preowned” cars and “war” is now “peace,” the UN wants us to call bugs “minilivestock.”
The report makes convincing arguments, including the fact that we already put all sorts of disgusting things* in our mouths like snails, and oysters, and tofu, and penis (albeit we don’t literally eat that last one), so why not locusts? There’s a bumper crop of cicadas expected to swarm into the East Coast of the United States any day now. A couple of years ago, we were worried about swarming stink
bugs minilivestock. And when I was growing up, I remember how everyone was afraid of “killer bees.” Oh, wait, I think I mean Africanized bees Africanized minilivestock. My point is that we’re always being threatened by some swarm herd of minilivestock, so instead of being filled with dread, why not tie a napkin around our neck and just wait at the dinner table for them?
While I was considering serving my family a great big pile of writhing maggots for dinner, our cat, Noodles, spent the better part of a day (a whole day!) stalking a wayward housefly that had become trapped in our home. She finally grew bored and gave up, and the fly died of natural causes, eventually dropping dead in the windowsill over the kitchen sink where I made my husband come and dispose of the corpse. Now here we have a cat, a creature known for its hunting prowess, outwitted by a single Musca domestica, and yet this is how we’re going to feed the world.
If you’re interested in minilivestock recipes and can wait until its July release, check out The Eat-A-Bug Cookbook. If you can’t wait, and want to get cooking right away, here are a couple of blogs for you to check out:
*Other things that I would rather not put in my mouth include lima beans, beef liver, and the Mother’s Day breakfast my daughters tried to serve me this year.
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